1. Loud breathing. Do not sit behind me and breath. Widen your nostrils, open your throat. I don't want to hear you gargling, or sighing. You had a bad day? Fuck you, I don't care. I don't want to hear you breathing. And man in the computer lab with creme-colored pants, I don't even mind the fact that your package is bulging in your ugly pants. Why? Because I'd rather stare at your dick than hear you breath.
2. Red Delicious Apples. Misnomer. Red? Yes. Delicious? No.
3. Tweezers that don't have flush edges. I know, how often does that happen? But really, when you are trying to go after that tiny black hair on your chin, and you have to dig into your skin to get that bitch, it fucking ruins a morning.
4. A privately owned Federal Bank. Doesn't that seem sketchy to anyone? The Federal Reserve is "owned" by big private banks around the country. True, the term of ownership needs to be hashed out. The member/owner banks must invest 3% of their capital stock in the Federal Reserve Banks. They cannot sell that stock, an cannot trade it, and cannot use it as collateral in order to borrow more money. However the private banks DO receive 6% per year from the Federal Reserve Banks. Also, the private banks get to elect each Federal Reserve Banks Board of Directors. Can you say, "conflict of interest"? And now, since all these mondo banks are going belly-up, and the Federal Reserve is intimately tied to the belly-up banks? Connect the dots. Irritating. Very. http://federalreserve.gov/generalinfo/aqfrs.htm#8
5. Bushy pubes. Effing trim. Tame it. I don't need to see it at the gym. And no, don't talk to me with your pubes hanging out. If your towel is pushed up by your pubes when its wrapped aroud your waist, you have way too much pube.
6. The sound of cats licking themselves.Oh my GAWD! You have all fucking day to clean your cat-ass! Yes, I am going to throw my pillow at you at 3am, cat.
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