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Amish badasses
Showing posts with label by Charity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label by Charity. Show all posts
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Crockpot Love!
OK, this just in! The eighth wonder of the world: The CROCKPOT!
This ingenious invention lets you throw semi-disgusting ingredients in a pot, turn a knob, and VOILA! Several hours later, a meal!
There are several things in this universe that are useless. Tupperware with loose lids, glow-in-the-dark sunglasses, and ugly frat dudes are among the worst and most useless creations. Notice that a crockpot (a.k.a. a slow-cooker) is notably not on this list.
Tonight's concoction: Chicken Noodle Soup.
Next time: Chicken shit, perhaps?
This ingenious invention lets you throw semi-disgusting ingredients in a pot, turn a knob, and VOILA! Several hours later, a meal!
There are several things in this universe that are useless. Tupperware with loose lids, glow-in-the-dark sunglasses, and ugly frat dudes are among the worst and most useless creations. Notice that a crockpot (a.k.a. a slow-cooker) is notably not on this list.
Tonight's concoction: Chicken Noodle Soup.
Next time: Chicken shit, perhaps?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Bitches I would lez out for
1. Marika Haggarty/Olivia Benson.
Definitey. Any time. Any place.
2. Madeline Stowe.
A friend once explained her same-sex feeling by saying, "C'mon! Madeline Stowe is gorgeous. Don't tell me you wouldn't make out with her!" Touche.
3. Seattle City Councilmember Sally Clark
Isn't there a saying about power being the ultimate aphrodisiac? Yes, ma'am!
Definitey. Any time. Any place.
2. Madeline Stowe.
A friend once explained her same-sex feeling by saying, "C'mon! Madeline Stowe is gorgeous. Don't tell me you wouldn't make out with her!" Touche.
3. Seattle City Councilmember Sally Clark
Isn't there a saying about power being the ultimate aphrodisiac? Yes, ma'am!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Well, hello, gentle viewers!
"I thought you might want to know a little about me, your humble host."
Miss Katie is an avid bike rider. Her favorite pasttimes include swimming, grocery shopping, and taking advantage of old people with dementia.
Miss Charity is an avid Buffy, the Vampire Slayer fan. Her hobbies include napping, cow-tipping, and trying to pick bar fights.
Miss Katie is an avid bike rider. Her favorite pasttimes include swimming, grocery shopping, and taking advantage of old people with dementia.
Miss Charity is an avid Buffy, the Vampire Slayer fan. Her hobbies include napping, cow-tipping, and trying to pick bar fights.
Things that irritate ME
1. Misspelled words. I know that my dear friend Katie is busier than all heck, but she misspelled "breathe" and instead used "breath." Irritating. You are in law school, for god's sake. Get it together. Now I know you are probably thinking, "Charity has the typing/spelling skills of a three-legged giraffe." Fair enough... but whatever because I am a hypocritical bitch.
2. Crosswalks with no curbcuts. I pay taxes, too, motherfuckers. I would like to be able to cross the frakkin' street.
3. Dead spiders in corners. Although I must say that I find dead spiders preferable to live ones, there is something extremely grating about those little jerks hanging there all deceased. It's like they're laughing at you with their little withered, crumpled-up legs. "Haha," their corpses must be thinking. "I used to scare the living daylights out of you with my arachnid qualities. Remember the time you threw your roommate's cat at me hoping it would devour me? You couldn't get rid of me then, and you can't get rid of me now! Bwahahaha!" Jesus Christ! You are dead. At least have the decency to disappear or crump in a non-public venue.
2. Crosswalks with no curbcuts. I pay taxes, too, motherfuckers. I would like to be able to cross the frakkin' street.
3. Dead spiders in corners. Although I must say that I find dead spiders preferable to live ones, there is something extremely grating about those little jerks hanging there all deceased. It's like they're laughing at you with their little withered, crumpled-up legs. "Haha," their corpses must be thinking. "I used to scare the living daylights out of you with my arachnid qualities. Remember the time you threw your roommate's cat at me hoping it would devour me? You couldn't get rid of me then, and you can't get rid of me now! Bwahahaha!" Jesus Christ! You are dead. At least have the decency to disappear or crump in a non-public venue.
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